So I have a huge freakin' problem!!! HUGE!! For me anyway. Have you ever started something, and never finished it!? Started reading a book and never finished it?? How about a craft??? Maybe a photo album?? Or even a home improvement project?!
I do this constantly! I can't seem to get away from the habit. I get inspired, come up with awesome ideas and start working on them only to see them fizzle into nothing. I'm sure I have disappointed so many people because of it... and mostly myself.
So why the heck do I start projects and never finish them?
I have a few ideas, but nothing is certain enough. I know I have an issue with performance anxiety. For example, my running video. I had a camera for almost a month and only really took a few days to film. WTH? Now the files are sitting on my computer waiting to be worked on. I'm putting it off... I procrastinate!!! That's one HUGE issue, but I know there is more to it. What if people think it's dumb, what if I can't figure out how to edit it, what if it totally sucks!?!?! Those three things are completely stopping me from finishing it.
Another example, my running blog. I was super inspired, super excited, and feeling so creative. I went and bought the domain, got it hosted, set up wordpress and now it sits. Close to empty. So here are my excuses so far. My "good" ideas don't seem so great anymore! I'm doubting my running credibility. I mean heck, I haven't even run my first half marathon. Who the heck would want my advice? So now, I have no idea what to do with it. Once again, I'm worried about what other people will think of it.
UGH!
And the list goes on, and on, and on. Every single creative project I start turns out this way. How do I get passed it!?!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Mushing for Meals 5k race report
This might have been one of the most enjoyable races I've ever done. My second 5k race ever! Here's some info on how I got ready.
So the reason I liked the idea of this race is the fact that I've been to the area so much. My graduation party and a couple birthday parties were close by. I've done photo shoots here and I've played here as a child, so it made perfect sense to run this one.
I decided to really concentrate on nutrition for this race. Maybe it was a little over the top for a 5k race but since I have so many bigger races planned this year I needed to figure out what worked before race day. So I decided to have a couple nice pasta meals for carbs the day before. Followed by a bowl of mashed potatoes before bed the night before. I also made sure to drink water and coconut water all day. Like I said, over the top for a 5k but basically I'm training for bigger things.
Anyway, race morning I had a bowl of oatmeal about an hour and a half before race time. I also drank some coconut water before the race. I felt well hydrated and my goal was to run this without water. I'm a bit of a water hog. I feel like I need to bring water on all my runs, even the smaller runs. It's almost become a bit of a security blanket, so losing it for this one was the plan. Jeff and I got to the race about 40 minutes early, which was good. We just chilled in the truck for a while. My brother had picked up my race packet the day before so I was set to race. 20 minutes to race time I started some warm ups. I ran up and down the block a couple times. I was ready.
I've never felt so ready before in my life. The temperature was on the chilly side. 30 degrees. I've raced in colder, but compared to the weather we've been getting this was cold. However, in a way it was perfect running weather. I decided to move right to the front. There was a small group of runners ahead of me, they were all men. A lot of other runners stayed back a ways. When the gun went off we took off pretty quick. There was a group of 5 or 6 men in front of me. One man took the lead right away. He was quick! The starting area took off down a hill, which was nice, we were all able to get some speed going. I remember looking down at my garmin and seeing 5:30s for pace early on. I knew that was not something I could sustain. It seems like once you get going fast, it's hard to slow down. I ran with another younger runner for the first half a mile and then he slowed up a bit. I was on my own for the rest of it. The leaders seemed so far ahead and there was no one around me. It was weird. I was HOPING I didn't make a wrong turn somewhere.
The race had the runners do two loops around the lagoon. After your first lap, you get a slap bracelet you do your second lap and then you head back to the start finish line. By the time I got my slap bracelet and started my second loop people were starting their first lap. It was a bit weird. I felt like I was being watched by everyone as I ran past and onto the finish. I may have gone out a little to fast but was trying to maintain a pace under 7.
As I ran up toward the finish line a bike cop told me that I could run in the street if I wanted to. He then yelled to every volunteer that we ran by "This is the first lady!!! First lady comin' through!!" It made me laugh a bit. Honestly, whenever I run near bikes, I feel like I need to run faster to keep up. So I guess it was a good thing he was there. He made me run a little faster.
The killer was the final hill. Ha, basically that nice hill we had starting out we had to run up for the finish! UGH! :D So I pushed as hard as I could so I didn't look tired as I got up the hill to the finish line! I finished with a time of 20:32 my fastest 5k ever.... 6:28 - 6:58 - 6:52 were my three splits I'm not sure what the last .10 was because I forgot to stop the garmin.
So this was my first 1st place female win. It was weird. Usually they break it up into age gender awards. I've already won a couple age/gender ones, but never an overall 1st female win. After the race a woman came up to me and shook my hand and tried to have a conversation with me. LOL it was interesting. I got a picture with her and then another man came and photographed me. We hung out for the awards and times to be announced. Hailey, Bella, my mom and Jeff were there. I was stopped by so many people asking about my time, other races, what my pace usually is, etc, etc. It was so new to me. It felt good :D
During the race I felt really good. I tried really hard to pay attention to my pace. I knew that if I went too hard too fast I would die out at the end. Like I said, this was probably the best I've ever felt during a race. My nerves were under control, my tummy felt great, my breathing was fine. Everything worked. I couldn't believe how everything just worked!!!
After, I got the question "What's your normal pace?" ha, not this! This was a PR for me. My fastest 5k time was 23 minutes around a 7:19 pace. 5k distance isn't usual for me. I usually run farther and a bit slower :D Oh well it was a nice change. I'm really starting to see what I'm capable of :D and I LOVE IT!
So the reason I liked the idea of this race is the fact that I've been to the area so much. My graduation party and a couple birthday parties were close by. I've done photo shoots here and I've played here as a child, so it made perfect sense to run this one.
I decided to really concentrate on nutrition for this race. Maybe it was a little over the top for a 5k race but since I have so many bigger races planned this year I needed to figure out what worked before race day. So I decided to have a couple nice pasta meals for carbs the day before. Followed by a bowl of mashed potatoes before bed the night before. I also made sure to drink water and coconut water all day. Like I said, over the top for a 5k but basically I'm training for bigger things.
Anyway, race morning I had a bowl of oatmeal about an hour and a half before race time. I also drank some coconut water before the race. I felt well hydrated and my goal was to run this without water. I'm a bit of a water hog. I feel like I need to bring water on all my runs, even the smaller runs. It's almost become a bit of a security blanket, so losing it for this one was the plan. Jeff and I got to the race about 40 minutes early, which was good. We just chilled in the truck for a while. My brother had picked up my race packet the day before so I was set to race. 20 minutes to race time I started some warm ups. I ran up and down the block a couple times. I was ready.
I've never felt so ready before in my life. The temperature was on the chilly side. 30 degrees. I've raced in colder, but compared to the weather we've been getting this was cold. However, in a way it was perfect running weather. I decided to move right to the front. There was a small group of runners ahead of me, they were all men. A lot of other runners stayed back a ways. When the gun went off we took off pretty quick. There was a group of 5 or 6 men in front of me. One man took the lead right away. He was quick! The starting area took off down a hill, which was nice, we were all able to get some speed going. I remember looking down at my garmin and seeing 5:30s for pace early on. I knew that was not something I could sustain. It seems like once you get going fast, it's hard to slow down. I ran with another younger runner for the first half a mile and then he slowed up a bit. I was on my own for the rest of it. The leaders seemed so far ahead and there was no one around me. It was weird. I was HOPING I didn't make a wrong turn somewhere.
The race had the runners do two loops around the lagoon. After your first lap, you get a slap bracelet you do your second lap and then you head back to the start finish line. By the time I got my slap bracelet and started my second loop people were starting their first lap. It was a bit weird. I felt like I was being watched by everyone as I ran past and onto the finish. I may have gone out a little to fast but was trying to maintain a pace under 7.
As I ran up toward the finish line a bike cop told me that I could run in the street if I wanted to. He then yelled to every volunteer that we ran by "This is the first lady!!! First lady comin' through!!" It made me laugh a bit. Honestly, whenever I run near bikes, I feel like I need to run faster to keep up. So I guess it was a good thing he was there. He made me run a little faster.
The killer was the final hill. Ha, basically that nice hill we had starting out we had to run up for the finish! UGH! :D So I pushed as hard as I could so I didn't look tired as I got up the hill to the finish line! I finished with a time of 20:32 my fastest 5k ever.... 6:28 - 6:58 - 6:52 were my three splits I'm not sure what the last .10 was because I forgot to stop the garmin.
So this was my first 1st place female win. It was weird. Usually they break it up into age gender awards. I've already won a couple age/gender ones, but never an overall 1st female win. After the race a woman came up to me and shook my hand and tried to have a conversation with me. LOL it was interesting. I got a picture with her and then another man came and photographed me. We hung out for the awards and times to be announced. Hailey, Bella, my mom and Jeff were there. I was stopped by so many people asking about my time, other races, what my pace usually is, etc, etc. It was so new to me. It felt good :D
During the race I felt really good. I tried really hard to pay attention to my pace. I knew that if I went too hard too fast I would die out at the end. Like I said, this was probably the best I've ever felt during a race. My nerves were under control, my tummy felt great, my breathing was fine. Everything worked. I couldn't believe how everything just worked!!!
After, I got the question "What's your normal pace?" ha, not this! This was a PR for me. My fastest 5k time was 23 minutes around a 7:19 pace. 5k distance isn't usual for me. I usually run farther and a bit slower :D Oh well it was a nice change. I'm really starting to see what I'm capable of :D and I LOVE IT!
When did that happen?
So I've never really felt like an adult. I still feel like a child.... maybe it's because I'm still living at home with mom and dad. Either way, I know I do adult things. I go to work every day, take care of a 5 year old, pay my bills, buy groceries all that fun stuff.
I'm wondering when I'll get to the point in my life when I'll actually feel like an adult? I figured maybe that would happen when I had my daughter Hailey. But really it hasn't. I didn't feel like an adult when I graduated college, or started paying off my college loans. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to pay medical expenses or purchase a car. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to get my own cell phone or buy my own groceries. Heck, even when I did live on my own, I still felt like a child. Maybe I'm still figuring things out. Maybe it'll be years and years of being on my own before I actually feel like an adult. Who knows!
It kind of sucks. I feel like I SHOULD be an adult. I should do things that adults do, but maybe I'm not. I mean I got most of it down, but there are parts that I'm still learning.
When I say I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I really feel embarrassed. How the heck does that work? I'm especially embarrassed when meeting new people or dating. "Yea btw, you REALLY want to date me, I still live with mommy!!!"
I just feel like it's taken so long to get where I am, and it'll take me longer to get where I want to be. I've skipped around on the order of things, which has made it much harder to get on my feet. Yea booo hoooo!! my fault, right?!?! I'm the one that had a baby outside of a marriage. I set myself up to fail, but that's how it goes. It's the hand I've been dealt. I think I've done pretty well with what I have.
Now I just have to figure out how to juggle a full time job, motherhood, a dog and my running. I feel like I need my family! But I can't stay here!!! I have to find my own way, do my own thing. I'm not exactly sure how I can do this on my own though.
If only everything were easy, and things fell into place. I guess I just have to realize that life will never be like that. Maybe that's part of being an adult. REALIZING that everything doesn't just happen. REALIZING that in order to get what you want, and be where you want, you have to work for it.
Either way, being an adult is scary! Really, I don't want to grow up!
So at what point in your life did you actually feel like an adult???
I'm wondering when I'll get to the point in my life when I'll actually feel like an adult? I figured maybe that would happen when I had my daughter Hailey. But really it hasn't. I didn't feel like an adult when I graduated college, or started paying off my college loans. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to pay medical expenses or purchase a car. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to get my own cell phone or buy my own groceries. Heck, even when I did live on my own, I still felt like a child. Maybe I'm still figuring things out. Maybe it'll be years and years of being on my own before I actually feel like an adult. Who knows!
It kind of sucks. I feel like I SHOULD be an adult. I should do things that adults do, but maybe I'm not. I mean I got most of it down, but there are parts that I'm still learning.
When I say I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I really feel embarrassed. How the heck does that work? I'm especially embarrassed when meeting new people or dating. "Yea btw, you REALLY want to date me, I still live with mommy!!!"
I just feel like it's taken so long to get where I am, and it'll take me longer to get where I want to be. I've skipped around on the order of things, which has made it much harder to get on my feet. Yea booo hoooo!! my fault, right?!?! I'm the one that had a baby outside of a marriage. I set myself up to fail, but that's how it goes. It's the hand I've been dealt. I think I've done pretty well with what I have.
Now I just have to figure out how to juggle a full time job, motherhood, a dog and my running. I feel like I need my family! But I can't stay here!!! I have to find my own way, do my own thing. I'm not exactly sure how I can do this on my own though.
If only everything were easy, and things fell into place. I guess I just have to realize that life will never be like that. Maybe that's part of being an adult. REALIZING that everything doesn't just happen. REALIZING that in order to get what you want, and be where you want, you have to work for it.
Either way, being an adult is scary! Really, I don't want to grow up!
So at what point in your life did you actually feel like an adult???
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Bella
My mother is a woman of surprises. First, she brought home a fish, next a bunny, then 5 more fish..... Last night, she brought a puppy. Every time she brought another animal home I would think to myself, "One day she's going to bring something bigger home, like a puppy."
Honestly, that thought alone made me frustrated because I felt like I would be doing all the work taking care of him or her. For some reason, I thought I would hate it!!!
Well last night, I was very annoyed to come home and Hailey and my mother weren't home. Finally when they did get home Hailey said, "We have a surprise!!" Yep, it was a puppy. At first I was mad!!! SOOOO mad! I explained to my mother that she really had no IDEA what she was getting herself into! We had never had a puppy or anything that required more attention than a cat! I told her that we were in trouble!
Well, the more I look at her, the more I fall in love with the idea of having a dog! As a child, I always wanted a Dalmatian, but NEVER got one... Even though this isn't a Dalmatian, it's a dog... and I am excited to have her. Even though I don't want all the hard work associated with having a puppy I think it'll be worth it in the end! So Everyone, this is Bella, our 6 week old white shepherd.
Honestly, that thought alone made me frustrated because I felt like I would be doing all the work taking care of him or her. For some reason, I thought I would hate it!!!
Well last night, I was very annoyed to come home and Hailey and my mother weren't home. Finally when they did get home Hailey said, "We have a surprise!!" Yep, it was a puppy. At first I was mad!!! SOOOO mad! I explained to my mother that she really had no IDEA what she was getting herself into! We had never had a puppy or anything that required more attention than a cat! I told her that we were in trouble!
Well, the more I look at her, the more I fall in love with the idea of having a dog! As a child, I always wanted a Dalmatian, but NEVER got one... Even though this isn't a Dalmatian, it's a dog... and I am excited to have her. Even though I don't want all the hard work associated with having a puppy I think it'll be worth it in the end! So Everyone, this is Bella, our 6 week old white shepherd.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Why run???
I'm sure if you are a runner you've heard this question more than once. WHY? Usually I say "Why not" but I'm starting to think that's a generic answer....
First of all, I talk about running a lot. I like to tell people about it. I want to inspire people to run. Running has brought me a lot of joy and I want to share it. Sure it's not ALL fun all the time. It's hard. There are runs that I hate. Runs that I say "This is HARD!" Runs that practically defeat me but I charge forward anyway. There are runs and races where I think "Why am I doing this??? What was I thinking?" So why do I run? A lot of people can't understand what is going through my head when I run 5, 6, 7 + miles. I get even more surprised reactions now that I'm running a little bit longer.
Sometimes when I'm really pushing myself and my body is soooo tired I have a hard time enjoying runs. I think my favorite part is after; when you sit back and look at what you just did. It's like a surprise. HOW does someone train their body to do what us runners do? It's lot of practice and training for your body, and especially mind.
Every time I run, I feel like I've really accomplished something! It's like a daily victory.
Simply put: Running is REWARDING.
You feel good about yourself for getting it done! You feel strong! You feel healthy! It motivates you! It challenges you!
It makes me feel like I can accomplish ANYTHING! "Heck, I can run 10 miles so I can do that.... " The confidence running gives you is amazing!
Running has brought me to meet amazing and inspirational people. People that have changed my life and inspire me to push myself more every day!
Running teaches you so much, about yourself, your body and your limits! You learn how to take care of yourself again. From to nutrition, hydration, and even taking care of your muscles.... You get "schooled" in yourself.
So now you know, running is a gift.... and this is why I run.
First of all, I talk about running a lot. I like to tell people about it. I want to inspire people to run. Running has brought me a lot of joy and I want to share it. Sure it's not ALL fun all the time. It's hard. There are runs that I hate. Runs that I say "This is HARD!" Runs that practically defeat me but I charge forward anyway. There are runs and races where I think "Why am I doing this??? What was I thinking?" So why do I run? A lot of people can't understand what is going through my head when I run 5, 6, 7 + miles. I get even more surprised reactions now that I'm running a little bit longer.
Sometimes when I'm really pushing myself and my body is soooo tired I have a hard time enjoying runs. I think my favorite part is after; when you sit back and look at what you just did. It's like a surprise. HOW does someone train their body to do what us runners do? It's lot of practice and training for your body, and especially mind.
Every time I run, I feel like I've really accomplished something! It's like a daily victory.
Simply put: Running is REWARDING.
You feel good about yourself for getting it done! You feel strong! You feel healthy! It motivates you! It challenges you!
It makes me feel like I can accomplish ANYTHING! "Heck, I can run 10 miles so I can do that.... " The confidence running gives you is amazing!
Running has brought me to meet amazing and inspirational people. People that have changed my life and inspire me to push myself more every day!
Running teaches you so much, about yourself, your body and your limits! You learn how to take care of yourself again. From to nutrition, hydration, and even taking care of your muscles.... You get "schooled" in yourself.
So now you know, running is a gift.... and this is why I run.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I'll share the wealth.....
So I've never been a big "coupon-er" and I've never been one to look for discounts everywhere before buying. I really don't know what's gotten in to me. Anyway, my work requires shirts with a collar. I literally own maybe 3. So today is pay day. I decided to buy a couple more shirts. The couple I have are American Eagle brand and Aeropostale brand. I know, I know, I'm not 16 anymore.... But they fit me the best and they are super comfy. So I decided to go buy a couple more American Eagle ones. So I was happy to see they were on sale for $20.
So everytime I type to search a company in google.... you know it fills in with something it "thinks" you could be searching for? Well whenever I do that it fills in with coupons, or discounts. So I went ahead and decided to search for discount codes. I mean really, what the hell, it couldn't hurt and it could actually save me some money.
So I found this blog:
Coupon-Codes Online
At first I didn't think that the discount code would be valid, but sure enough it was. Saved me $6 on my purchase! Heck I'll take it. The site has a ton of discount codes for various places including amazon.com, Kohls, JC Penny, Target, and the list goes on. Not only can you find the discount codes for online purchases but you can also find printable coupons for groceries and other retailers! There are expiration dates for some of the offers, but it's totally worth checking out before you buy online! This blog is going in my favorites and I thought I'd share with you! Enjoy!
So everytime I type to search a company in google.... you know it fills in with something it "thinks" you could be searching for? Well whenever I do that it fills in with coupons, or discounts. So I went ahead and decided to search for discount codes. I mean really, what the hell, it couldn't hurt and it could actually save me some money.
So I found this blog:
Coupon-Codes Online
At first I didn't think that the discount code would be valid, but sure enough it was. Saved me $6 on my purchase! Heck I'll take it. The site has a ton of discount codes for various places including amazon.com, Kohls, JC Penny, Target, and the list goes on. Not only can you find the discount codes for online purchases but you can also find printable coupons for groceries and other retailers! There are expiration dates for some of the offers, but it's totally worth checking out before you buy online! This blog is going in my favorites and I thought I'd share with you! Enjoy!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Comfort
It's Friday night, most people my age are out socializing, drinking, having a good time. My Friday night is at home, in bed, resting up for an early Saturday morning run. I've been throwing in some bigger runs.... big to me runs anyway.
5:15am the alarm went off. Just barely enough time to eat some food and get bundled up. I turned on the news to see what the temperature would be. It was in the single digits with a wind chill. Hmmm, this should be interesting. I know that if I don't go through with this run I'll feel terrible all day. I kept thinking about what I COULD do instead. I could head to the YMCA and run on the treadmill. I really wanted to do 10 today though. It would be easier, warm, and COMFORTABLE.
Really it seemed like the temperature wasn't an issue for me. I guess I wore enough layers. I was winded. Even though I didn't feel the cold on my skin, it was affecting the way I was breathing, it was hard. As we ran I wasn't sure how far we were going. I watch my garmin the whole first half. At 2.5 miles I thought maybe we could head back. I'd be happy with 5 for the day. Then at 3 miles, I thought 6 miles sounded pretty good. By mile 4 Adam asked me if I wanted to go for 8 or 10? And at that point, what's another mile? I'm glad we went on to 10. I had to shut that internal dialogue off. The entire first time I was worried about what was going to be easy or comfortable.
Then I started to think about the whole comfortable thing. Being comfortable isn't going to make me stronger or faster. Being comfortable isn't going to help me be a better or faster runner. In order to improve, I must push limits and push past comfort. The most uncomfortable runs are the ones I'll learn the most from, both mentally and physically. I'm not saying that every run, every time, needs to push limits because I know the relaxing runs are important. It's balance of all of them. But this run, was my uncomfortable run; and it was good.
This whole comfort thing goes for everything. Life would be boring if everything were easy and comfortable. Push limits in every area. It makes everything more exciting. And truth is, everything will be all right. Pushing limits only makes you stronger.
5:15am the alarm went off. Just barely enough time to eat some food and get bundled up. I turned on the news to see what the temperature would be. It was in the single digits with a wind chill. Hmmm, this should be interesting. I know that if I don't go through with this run I'll feel terrible all day. I kept thinking about what I COULD do instead. I could head to the YMCA and run on the treadmill. I really wanted to do 10 today though. It would be easier, warm, and COMFORTABLE.
Really it seemed like the temperature wasn't an issue for me. I guess I wore enough layers. I was winded. Even though I didn't feel the cold on my skin, it was affecting the way I was breathing, it was hard. As we ran I wasn't sure how far we were going. I watch my garmin the whole first half. At 2.5 miles I thought maybe we could head back. I'd be happy with 5 for the day. Then at 3 miles, I thought 6 miles sounded pretty good. By mile 4 Adam asked me if I wanted to go for 8 or 10? And at that point, what's another mile? I'm glad we went on to 10. I had to shut that internal dialogue off. The entire first time I was worried about what was going to be easy or comfortable.
Then I started to think about the whole comfortable thing. Being comfortable isn't going to make me stronger or faster. Being comfortable isn't going to help me be a better or faster runner. In order to improve, I must push limits and push past comfort. The most uncomfortable runs are the ones I'll learn the most from, both mentally and physically. I'm not saying that every run, every time, needs to push limits because I know the relaxing runs are important. It's balance of all of them. But this run, was my uncomfortable run; and it was good.
This whole comfort thing goes for everything. Life would be boring if everything were easy and comfortable. Push limits in every area. It makes everything more exciting. And truth is, everything will be all right. Pushing limits only makes you stronger.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Impressions
A few weeks ago The Janesville Gazette has printed a simple article about the Ragnar Relay Race from Madison to Chicago. Our team captain was interviewed and her photo was printed in the paper. She had mentioned her teammates, including me! I was pretty excited :) Anyway, That day I had to work at Woodman's. I was checking for the first half of my shift.
My 6th grade math teacher Mr. Mitchell came through my line. I see him a couple times a month, but never really said anything to him. I wasn't sure he even remembered me. Anyway, as he handed me his check he asked "Did I see your name in the paper? You're runnin' that race?" I was completely shocked. First, that he recognized me, and second that he put the name to my face. After all those years, and all those students that he had taught, my name, and my face stood out to him. I'm not a teacher, but sometimes I have a hard time remembering people I had gone to school with. Heck, I can't even remember half of my teachers. Haha!
What kind of impression had I made on this person that he remembered me after so many years? Then I really got to thinking....
Here are the definitions of impression:
Now I see it differently. An impression is the way you affect someone and their life. The way you affect how someone feels, thinks, acts. A mark.... on the heart.
Usually I don't get sappy like this but I truly believe there are people in my life that have touched my heart. I never want to forget them, the way they make me think or feel, and the way they inspire me. I'm doing my best to keep the people that leave the greatest impressions around.
Life isn't like that though. It seems almost impossible to keep the people you want in your life for a long time. Life is demanding, life is busy, and these days you'd be lucky to keep a good friendship.
So, for my 6th grade Math teacher to remember my name and my face and put it together all at once is crazy to me. I keep thinking.... "What kind of impression did I make? Why does he remember ME?" We make impressions and we don't even realize how strong they are. We don't realize the affect we have on other people sometimes. I think it's because we are always in our own little world.... worrying about us and our own lives that we don't stop and look. We are in this together.... We'd be pretty bored by ourselves. Life isn't about the things you do for yourself, it's about relationships you build while doing what you love. Pay attention to the impressions you make, how you affect people, and how people affect you. Let them know they mean something to you.
My 6th grade math teacher Mr. Mitchell came through my line. I see him a couple times a month, but never really said anything to him. I wasn't sure he even remembered me. Anyway, as he handed me his check he asked "Did I see your name in the paper? You're runnin' that race?" I was completely shocked. First, that he recognized me, and second that he put the name to my face. After all those years, and all those students that he had taught, my name, and my face stood out to him. I'm not a teacher, but sometimes I have a hard time remembering people I had gone to school with. Heck, I can't even remember half of my teachers. Haha!
What kind of impression had I made on this person that he remembered me after so many years? Then I really got to thinking....
Here are the definitions of impression:
When I think of the word impression I usually think of first impressions. The first time I meet with someone. Almost like judging them, but it's more their vibes. How they seem to be.
im·pres·sion /ɪmˈprɛʃən/ Show Spelled[im-presh-uhn] Show IPAnoun1. a strong effect produced on the intellect, feelings, conscience, etc.2. the first and immediate effect of an experience or perception upon the mind; sensation.3. the effect produced by an agency or influence.4. a notion, remembrance, belief, etc., often of a vague or indistinct nature: He had a general impression of lights, voices, and the clinking of silver.5. a mark, indentation, figure, etc., produced by pressure.
Now I see it differently. An impression is the way you affect someone and their life. The way you affect how someone feels, thinks, acts. A mark.... on the heart.
Usually I don't get sappy like this but I truly believe there are people in my life that have touched my heart. I never want to forget them, the way they make me think or feel, and the way they inspire me. I'm doing my best to keep the people that leave the greatest impressions around.
Life isn't like that though. It seems almost impossible to keep the people you want in your life for a long time. Life is demanding, life is busy, and these days you'd be lucky to keep a good friendship.
So, for my 6th grade Math teacher to remember my name and my face and put it together all at once is crazy to me. I keep thinking.... "What kind of impression did I make? Why does he remember ME?" We make impressions and we don't even realize how strong they are. We don't realize the affect we have on other people sometimes. I think it's because we are always in our own little world.... worrying about us and our own lives that we don't stop and look. We are in this together.... We'd be pretty bored by ourselves. Life isn't about the things you do for yourself, it's about relationships you build while doing what you love. Pay attention to the impressions you make, how you affect people, and how people affect you. Let them know they mean something to you.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Rock Cut Survivor Series 10k Full Race Report
Some of you may have already read my race description over on my dailymile.com account. I ran out of space there so it was a bit of a summary so I'll add some more detail here. I think it's important to sit and look back at races. It helps you figure out what worked, what didn't, what made you feel stronger, and things to never do again! It's always a learning experience, that's life and looking back helps you to learn from mistakes and improve.
Even though we were early we got a bit distracted and ended up rushing to the starting line minutes before the start. Adam wanted to start up front and I followed. Not sure if that was a good idea. Starting out was scary. I'd imagine that's probably what an Ironman race is like times 20! It was difficult to find footing, people were sliding and trying not to fall. Falling at that point of the race would have been terrible. Especially being in the middle a group.
I was very undecided on this race. I wasn't sure if I really COULD do it without hurting myself again. I've been going to physical therapy for a few weeks and things were finally starting to go well. I didn't want to mess up again and have to start all over! The entire week before this race I had very little to no pain. It's almost weird to me for my knees not to hurt going down stairs or kneeling down. It's very exciting.
My nerves were a mess the night before. I didn't sleep very well at all. I bet if I wore my heart rate monitor to bed it would have been through the roof from the anxiety I felt. That morning I had a hard time getting up and ready. All I wanted to do was lay around. I ate breakfast: Oatmeal with raisins and walnuts. It seems to be my "go to" meal before races. It sits in my stomach well during runs. However for this one, I think I ate too early and not enough.
I picked Adam up around 9:50am. I'm glad he came along, honestly he calmed my nerves a bit. We did a quick stop in beloit to drop Hailey off with my mother and we were off.
I still can't believe how nervous I was. This was my first official "trail race" and covered in snow. I guess I didn't know what to expect. I think those two things coupled with fear of re injuring my knee is what made me so nervous.
We got there about an hour early, which was good, we had plenty of time to get signed up and warmed up. Before the race, Adam and I did a couple laps around the parking lot. This really got me scared. I was tired, I felt like I was really pushing just to run around the lot. Right then, I knew it was going to be hard! I hadn't eaten enough, I felt like I didn't have energy! GREAT! I brought along a couple bananas and cookies (for after the race). After that warm up I decided I needed to at least eat a banana before.
So my nerves made me have to pee.... yes pee! twice within that hour of waiting. Adam told me it's better to get it out now, instead of having to do it on the trail. TRUE!
It seemed like we waited for a LONG time!
One thing I don't really like about races is the fact that beforehand everyone is sizing each other up. I overheard a couple people looking at other people talking about their competition. I know it's a race, but I hate the fact that people might be looking at me saying the same thing. I guess I'm still getting over that part of it.
Even though we were early we got a bit distracted and ended up rushing to the starting line minutes before the start. Adam wanted to start up front and I followed. Not sure if that was a good idea. Starting out was scary. I'd imagine that's probably what an Ironman race is like times 20! It was difficult to find footing, people were sliding and trying not to fall. Falling at that point of the race would have been terrible. Especially being in the middle a group.
It was good to also see a group from ASR. People I had run with on easy Thursday runs were also running this race. My original plan was to stick with Gary. I've run along with him, he's a good pacer for me. I only stuck with him for the first mile though, I got passed by a new man I met named Chris. He stuck with me for a bit and we chatted a little, I couldn't talk much. He tried to warn me about weird spots on the trail. Even though I had just met him, it was good to have someone on the trail offering some support. At some point got passed by other familiar faces.
I had issues with my shoe and my yaktrax. My left one kept moving around, I had to stop and fix it 3 times! Then my shoe also came untied. Try tying your shoe in the snow! ha not fun and not easy! I pulled the wrong string and it knotted up on me. Yea, can't fix that with gloves so I pulled it tighter and looped the laces around in another knot so they wouldn't flap everywhere and tucked them into my shoe. People I had passed early in the race I ended up passing three times because I had to stop those three times! How annoying!
One girl that I had passed multiple times had fallen a lot when I was behind her, maybe 5 times. I don't think she had any spikes or trax on her shoes. She seemed like she was miserable, working hard, and not used to this. She looked like I felt (for most of it). :( The last time I went to pass her I she upped her pace a bit and tried to keep up. I wanted to turn to her and say "good job! Your doing great!" to give her some support but she backed off before I got the chance.
So I went into this race thinking, I'm not going to push myself like I always do! I'm just going to run it and enjoy it! That didn't happen like I had hoped. There were points during this race that I was thinking "Why am I doing this?" "I hate this!" "This is so hard!" I think the part that made it so difficult and frustrating was the snow. I hated not being able to find footing. I relaxed a little by mile 4 but by the last half mile it was hard again! This was a roller coaster... Another one of those runs that really pushes you just to take another step.
There was a slight hill at the very end of this race, I was beat. I got passed by two ladies that looked around my age. I was still pushing but I couldn't push anymore! Literally. Passing the finish line was a relief. Usually I sprint to the end during races. I couldn't do that this time. The finish line guided runners into this tent where they took race tags and pinned them to a board. Just as I entered the tent I felt as if I was going to throw up. I had a hard time holding that back. I was unbalanced, dizzy, losing my vision. I'd never felt this way before. I walked slowly, I probably looked drunk. I found Adam and a few other ASR people and I started to really feel dizzy. I had a very hard time keeping my balance, thankfully an ASR person helped me balance. He held me up for a few minutes.
Adam got done maybe 15-20 minutes before me and he was cold by the time I was done. We quick went to the truck to get our jackets. We only hung out for a few minutes before we decided to head home. It was a bit too cold to hang out in cold wet clothes.
This race was a learning experience in so many ways. I learned a lot about trail running, running in snow, and my own limits! It was hard, but worth every second of the struggle! I haven't decided if I like running trails in the snow. I think I need a few more experiences to actually make up my mind. Stay tuned for more!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
What to say?
So my biggest problem in keeping a blog is the fact that I never know what to say. Until something big happens. But big things don't happen to me every day. Most days are normal, low key, laid back kind of days. Some might think they are boring; heck some days I think they are boring but they make my life.
So I'm deciding to exercise my writing muscle. Maybe I really DO have something to say or maybe I'm bored and I'm trying to fill some time. Really though, there is so much I need to be doing now. Cleaning, laundry, more cleaning, even more cleaning, editing images, training, exercising, shoveling snow, taking Hailey to school, and more cleaning.... but all those things don't seem too important to me today. Today is a chill day. I guess those kind of days are good every once in a while, right? Let's just hope I don't do that too much. Or maybe I'll get lucky and find some motivation later before work.
So in trying to find something to blog about I decided to just blog about NOW. What is going on NOW? Well now, hmmmmm. I feel happy, independent (that's a long story), strong, healthy, and almost complete. I love the life that running has given me. I love the friends I've made and the strength I've built. Being a "runner" has made my life so much better. I HAVE to eat better, I HAVE to get rest, I HAVE to train and run harder or else running is no fun and painful. This hobby has made me healthy, happy, and strong. I LOVE IT.
You might have noticed that I put these little quotations around the word runner. I have hard time owning labels. Not sure why, but I hate to jump into something without earning a title. I didn't call myself a "photographer" for a long time either and I definitely didn't call myself a "runner" for a long time. In fact I still have a hard time calling myself a runner. I've only been running for a year. It's still new to me and I feel like that could easily change with an injury. I don't think I'll stop running just to stop running.... for a long time anyway. I don't think I'll lose interest or momentum either. Can you tell I have a hard time committing? These are just statements, but I can't fully commit to saying them. I'm a very neutral person, I go with the flow. I know that things change and I'd hate to say something and have it work out to be different.
I've been having issues with my IT band/knee and I've been going to physical therapy to correct it. Maybe that's one reason I can't accept the "runner" label. I feel like this issue could stop me or hold me back. It's been an interesting journey so far. I'm learning and hopefully I'll be able to work this problem out. I've had problems with knee pain since I've upped my miles May of 2011.
The other day I went to physical therapy and the lady I was working with noticed almost instantly that my feet point inward..... my left more than my right. This could explain my left knee pain. She said my "alignment was off". Alignment? like a car? I suppose so. So pointing my feet inward puts pressure on my hip and knee. I've been sitting and WALKING this way my whole life! She had mentioned that if I worked on my "alignment" most of my knee pain would be taken care of; but wow, how do you change something you've done for most of your life? It's weird to think about walking and sitting now. So now I have stretches, exercises and walking to work on and think about. Hopefully all this will pay off :D
Well, that's enough of NOW, for NOW :D I feel like I blogged about nothing, but oh well. enjoy. Remember to count your blessings people! Don't dwell on negatives, instead, work on fixing things you don't like and enjoy what you do. We are all given limited time on earth so don't spend it in a negative place. Be positive, get out, do things, enjoy LIFE! This ride will be done before you know it.
So I'm deciding to exercise my writing muscle. Maybe I really DO have something to say or maybe I'm bored and I'm trying to fill some time. Really though, there is so much I need to be doing now. Cleaning, laundry, more cleaning, even more cleaning, editing images, training, exercising, shoveling snow, taking Hailey to school, and more cleaning.... but all those things don't seem too important to me today. Today is a chill day. I guess those kind of days are good every once in a while, right? Let's just hope I don't do that too much. Or maybe I'll get lucky and find some motivation later before work.
So in trying to find something to blog about I decided to just blog about NOW. What is going on NOW? Well now, hmmmmm. I feel happy, independent (that's a long story), strong, healthy, and almost complete. I love the life that running has given me. I love the friends I've made and the strength I've built. Being a "runner" has made my life so much better. I HAVE to eat better, I HAVE to get rest, I HAVE to train and run harder or else running is no fun and painful. This hobby has made me healthy, happy, and strong. I LOVE IT.
You might have noticed that I put these little quotations around the word runner. I have hard time owning labels. Not sure why, but I hate to jump into something without earning a title. I didn't call myself a "photographer" for a long time either and I definitely didn't call myself a "runner" for a long time. In fact I still have a hard time calling myself a runner. I've only been running for a year. It's still new to me and I feel like that could easily change with an injury. I don't think I'll stop running just to stop running.... for a long time anyway. I don't think I'll lose interest or momentum either. Can you tell I have a hard time committing? These are just statements, but I can't fully commit to saying them. I'm a very neutral person, I go with the flow. I know that things change and I'd hate to say something and have it work out to be different.
I've been having issues with my IT band/knee and I've been going to physical therapy to correct it. Maybe that's one reason I can't accept the "runner" label. I feel like this issue could stop me or hold me back. It's been an interesting journey so far. I'm learning and hopefully I'll be able to work this problem out. I've had problems with knee pain since I've upped my miles May of 2011.
The other day I went to physical therapy and the lady I was working with noticed almost instantly that my feet point inward..... my left more than my right. This could explain my left knee pain. She said my "alignment was off". Alignment? like a car? I suppose so. So pointing my feet inward puts pressure on my hip and knee. I've been sitting and WALKING this way my whole life! She had mentioned that if I worked on my "alignment" most of my knee pain would be taken care of; but wow, how do you change something you've done for most of your life? It's weird to think about walking and sitting now. So now I have stretches, exercises and walking to work on and think about. Hopefully all this will pay off :D
Well, that's enough of NOW, for NOW :D I feel like I blogged about nothing, but oh well. enjoy. Remember to count your blessings people! Don't dwell on negatives, instead, work on fixing things you don't like and enjoy what you do. We are all given limited time on earth so don't spend it in a negative place. Be positive, get out, do things, enjoy LIFE! This ride will be done before you know it.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Runnin' in the new year
Happy New Year! 2012 has already been productive! Instead of doing the normal thing on New Years Eve I decided to head out and run. I just wanted to do something that wasn't the normal "go out, party, get drunk" New Year tradition. I had thought about a 5k race in South Beloit, Rockton, Rosco??? Actually I can't remember where it was... lol Anyway a friend of mine pushed me a little farther than a 5k. Like 10 miles more....
After spending 8 hours at work on one of the busiest days of the year I got all bundled up for my first 13 mile run. I was extremely nervous. Not only would this be a PR for me if I finished it but it also meant pushing myself past that 10% rule.
My knees seem to give me issues on and off constantly. On some runs they are perfect, I have NO issue. On others, I'm sore by mile 5. I was mostly afraid of pushing so far that I wouldn't be able to run for a month and have to start all over again. I've come so far already with my pace and distance, I would hate to have to start all over again.
The weather was perfect. It was a bit on the chilly side; just chilly enough for it to be slick on the pavement part of the run but just right for everything else. For a portion of it I wasn't even wearing gloves! How that is possible at the end of December in Wisconsin, I haven't a clue.
It was almost soothing to be out there on the trails in the dark. The pace was perfect, I think we sped up for a short time but I was quickly reminded to chill out. Pace, breathing and energy wise I felt great. My knees started to get sore by 9ish miles. They felt like they were heavy and going to lock up. But I pushed through. Toward the end of the run I felt energized, despite my sore knees. I got a second wind.
By the very end I was tired. There is not better way to put it, but physically and mentally tired. Eating dinner that night was slow... I wanted to just sit. Later, rest didn't come easy either. I Iced my knee as I fell asleep and tossed and turned the rest of the night. I remember waking up a few times, wishing I could get into a deep sleep. It was kind of like one of those nights after drinking; one that you can't get into a deep sleep, so you toss and turn the entire night.... Yea, that's what I did.
The next day was HARD! My entire lower body was sore. Nothing seemed to move right. I'm sure I walked with a limp, but I think most of it was just being exhausted.
I think running these distances will require a day off after; just so I can regain energy.
One of my favorite things about the night was hearing/seeing fireworks at midnight. It was interesting not knowing what time it was on one of the biggest nights of the year. A night when it's all about timing and the countdown. Adam and I were running in the dark, in the woods, secluded from everyone else on such a big night. "I wonder how many people are out in the woods running right now?" Probably not many, we might have been the only ones :D I guess I shouldn't say that, I mean really, there are soooooo many people in the world, we couldn't have been the only ones! It felt like it though, and I loved it. I wouldn't want to spend my New Years' Eve anywhere else.
So, here's to 2012... You better be amazing!
After spending 8 hours at work on one of the busiest days of the year I got all bundled up for my first 13 mile run. I was extremely nervous. Not only would this be a PR for me if I finished it but it also meant pushing myself past that 10% rule.
My knees seem to give me issues on and off constantly. On some runs they are perfect, I have NO issue. On others, I'm sore by mile 5. I was mostly afraid of pushing so far that I wouldn't be able to run for a month and have to start all over again. I've come so far already with my pace and distance, I would hate to have to start all over again.
The weather was perfect. It was a bit on the chilly side; just chilly enough for it to be slick on the pavement part of the run but just right for everything else. For a portion of it I wasn't even wearing gloves! How that is possible at the end of December in Wisconsin, I haven't a clue.
It was almost soothing to be out there on the trails in the dark. The pace was perfect, I think we sped up for a short time but I was quickly reminded to chill out. Pace, breathing and energy wise I felt great. My knees started to get sore by 9ish miles. They felt like they were heavy and going to lock up. But I pushed through. Toward the end of the run I felt energized, despite my sore knees. I got a second wind.
By the very end I was tired. There is not better way to put it, but physically and mentally tired. Eating dinner that night was slow... I wanted to just sit. Later, rest didn't come easy either. I Iced my knee as I fell asleep and tossed and turned the rest of the night. I remember waking up a few times, wishing I could get into a deep sleep. It was kind of like one of those nights after drinking; one that you can't get into a deep sleep, so you toss and turn the entire night.... Yea, that's what I did.
The next day was HARD! My entire lower body was sore. Nothing seemed to move right. I'm sure I walked with a limp, but I think most of it was just being exhausted.
I think running these distances will require a day off after; just so I can regain energy.
One of my favorite things about the night was hearing/seeing fireworks at midnight. It was interesting not knowing what time it was on one of the biggest nights of the year. A night when it's all about timing and the countdown. Adam and I were running in the dark, in the woods, secluded from everyone else on such a big night. "I wonder how many people are out in the woods running right now?" Probably not many, we might have been the only ones :D I guess I shouldn't say that, I mean really, there are soooooo many people in the world, we couldn't have been the only ones! It felt like it though, and I loved it. I wouldn't want to spend my New Years' Eve anywhere else.
So, here's to 2012... You better be amazing!
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