When did that happen?

So I've never really felt like an adult. I still feel like a child.... maybe it's because I'm still living at home with mom and dad. Either way, I know I do adult things. I go to work every day, take care of a 5 year old, pay my bills, buy groceries all that fun stuff.

I'm wondering when I'll get to the point in my life when I'll actually feel like an adult? I figured maybe that would happen when I had my daughter Hailey. But really it hasn't. I didn't feel like an adult when I graduated college, or started paying off my college loans. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to pay medical expenses or purchase a car. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to get my own cell phone or buy my own groceries. Heck, even when I did live on my own, I still felt like a child. Maybe I'm still figuring things out. Maybe it'll be years and years of being on my own before I actually feel like an adult. Who knows!

It kind of sucks. I feel like I SHOULD be an adult. I should do things that adults do, but maybe I'm not. I mean I got most of it down, but there are parts that I'm still learning.

When I say I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I really feel embarrassed. How the heck does that work? I'm especially embarrassed when meeting new people or dating. "Yea btw, you REALLY want to date me, I still live with mommy!!!"

I just feel like it's taken so long to get where I am, and it'll take me longer to get where I want to be. I've skipped around on the order of things, which has made it much harder to get on my feet. Yea booo hoooo!! my fault, right?!?! I'm the one that had a baby outside of a marriage. I set myself up to fail, but that's how it goes. It's the hand I've been dealt. I think I've done pretty well with what I have.

Now I just have to figure out how to juggle a full time job, motherhood, a dog and my running. I feel like I need my family! But I can't stay here!!! I have to find my own way, do my own thing. I'm not exactly sure how I can do this on my own though.

If only everything were easy, and things fell into place. I guess I just have to realize that life will never be like that. Maybe that's part of being an adult. REALIZING that everything doesn't just happen. REALIZING that in order to get what you want, and be where you want, you have to work for it.

Either way, being an adult is scary! Really, I don't want to grow up!

So at what point in your life did you actually feel like an adult???