So I have a huge freakin' problem!!! HUGE!! For me anyway. Have you ever started something, and never finished it!? Started reading a book and never finished it?? How about a craft??? Maybe a photo album?? Or even a home improvement project?!
I do this constantly! I can't seem to get away from the habit. I get inspired, come up with awesome ideas and start working on them only to see them fizzle into nothing. I'm sure I have disappointed so many people because of it... and mostly myself.
So why the heck do I start projects and never finish them?
I have a few ideas, but nothing is certain enough. I know I have an issue with performance anxiety. For example, my running video. I had a camera for almost a month and only really took a few days to film. WTH? Now the files are sitting on my computer waiting to be worked on. I'm putting it off... I procrastinate!!! That's one HUGE issue, but I know there is more to it. What if people think it's dumb, what if I can't figure out how to edit it, what if it totally sucks!?!?! Those three things are completely stopping me from finishing it.
Another example, my running blog. I was super inspired, super excited, and feeling so creative. I went and bought the domain, got it hosted, set up wordpress and now it sits. Close to empty. So here are my excuses so far. My "good" ideas don't seem so great anymore! I'm doubting my running credibility. I mean heck, I haven't even run my first half marathon. Who the heck would want my advice? So now, I have no idea what to do with it. Once again, I'm worried about what other people will think of it.
UGH!
And the list goes on, and on, and on. Every single creative project I start turns out this way. How do I get passed it!?!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Mushing for Meals 5k race report
This might have been one of the most enjoyable races I've ever done. My second 5k race ever! Here's some info on how I got ready.
So the reason I liked the idea of this race is the fact that I've been to the area so much. My graduation party and a couple birthday parties were close by. I've done photo shoots here and I've played here as a child, so it made perfect sense to run this one.
I decided to really concentrate on nutrition for this race. Maybe it was a little over the top for a 5k race but since I have so many bigger races planned this year I needed to figure out what worked before race day. So I decided to have a couple nice pasta meals for carbs the day before. Followed by a bowl of mashed potatoes before bed the night before. I also made sure to drink water and coconut water all day. Like I said, over the top for a 5k but basically I'm training for bigger things.
Anyway, race morning I had a bowl of oatmeal about an hour and a half before race time. I also drank some coconut water before the race. I felt well hydrated and my goal was to run this without water. I'm a bit of a water hog. I feel like I need to bring water on all my runs, even the smaller runs. It's almost become a bit of a security blanket, so losing it for this one was the plan. Jeff and I got to the race about 40 minutes early, which was good. We just chilled in the truck for a while. My brother had picked up my race packet the day before so I was set to race. 20 minutes to race time I started some warm ups. I ran up and down the block a couple times. I was ready.
I've never felt so ready before in my life. The temperature was on the chilly side. 30 degrees. I've raced in colder, but compared to the weather we've been getting this was cold. However, in a way it was perfect running weather. I decided to move right to the front. There was a small group of runners ahead of me, they were all men. A lot of other runners stayed back a ways. When the gun went off we took off pretty quick. There was a group of 5 or 6 men in front of me. One man took the lead right away. He was quick! The starting area took off down a hill, which was nice, we were all able to get some speed going. I remember looking down at my garmin and seeing 5:30s for pace early on. I knew that was not something I could sustain. It seems like once you get going fast, it's hard to slow down. I ran with another younger runner for the first half a mile and then he slowed up a bit. I was on my own for the rest of it. The leaders seemed so far ahead and there was no one around me. It was weird. I was HOPING I didn't make a wrong turn somewhere.
The race had the runners do two loops around the lagoon. After your first lap, you get a slap bracelet you do your second lap and then you head back to the start finish line. By the time I got my slap bracelet and started my second loop people were starting their first lap. It was a bit weird. I felt like I was being watched by everyone as I ran past and onto the finish. I may have gone out a little to fast but was trying to maintain a pace under 7.
As I ran up toward the finish line a bike cop told me that I could run in the street if I wanted to. He then yelled to every volunteer that we ran by "This is the first lady!!! First lady comin' through!!" It made me laugh a bit. Honestly, whenever I run near bikes, I feel like I need to run faster to keep up. So I guess it was a good thing he was there. He made me run a little faster.
The killer was the final hill. Ha, basically that nice hill we had starting out we had to run up for the finish! UGH! :D So I pushed as hard as I could so I didn't look tired as I got up the hill to the finish line! I finished with a time of 20:32 my fastest 5k ever.... 6:28 - 6:58 - 6:52 were my three splits I'm not sure what the last .10 was because I forgot to stop the garmin.
So this was my first 1st place female win. It was weird. Usually they break it up into age gender awards. I've already won a couple age/gender ones, but never an overall 1st female win. After the race a woman came up to me and shook my hand and tried to have a conversation with me. LOL it was interesting. I got a picture with her and then another man came and photographed me. We hung out for the awards and times to be announced. Hailey, Bella, my mom and Jeff were there. I was stopped by so many people asking about my time, other races, what my pace usually is, etc, etc. It was so new to me. It felt good :D
During the race I felt really good. I tried really hard to pay attention to my pace. I knew that if I went too hard too fast I would die out at the end. Like I said, this was probably the best I've ever felt during a race. My nerves were under control, my tummy felt great, my breathing was fine. Everything worked. I couldn't believe how everything just worked!!!
After, I got the question "What's your normal pace?" ha, not this! This was a PR for me. My fastest 5k time was 23 minutes around a 7:19 pace. 5k distance isn't usual for me. I usually run farther and a bit slower :D Oh well it was a nice change. I'm really starting to see what I'm capable of :D and I LOVE IT!
So the reason I liked the idea of this race is the fact that I've been to the area so much. My graduation party and a couple birthday parties were close by. I've done photo shoots here and I've played here as a child, so it made perfect sense to run this one.
I decided to really concentrate on nutrition for this race. Maybe it was a little over the top for a 5k race but since I have so many bigger races planned this year I needed to figure out what worked before race day. So I decided to have a couple nice pasta meals for carbs the day before. Followed by a bowl of mashed potatoes before bed the night before. I also made sure to drink water and coconut water all day. Like I said, over the top for a 5k but basically I'm training for bigger things.
Anyway, race morning I had a bowl of oatmeal about an hour and a half before race time. I also drank some coconut water before the race. I felt well hydrated and my goal was to run this without water. I'm a bit of a water hog. I feel like I need to bring water on all my runs, even the smaller runs. It's almost become a bit of a security blanket, so losing it for this one was the plan. Jeff and I got to the race about 40 minutes early, which was good. We just chilled in the truck for a while. My brother had picked up my race packet the day before so I was set to race. 20 minutes to race time I started some warm ups. I ran up and down the block a couple times. I was ready.
I've never felt so ready before in my life. The temperature was on the chilly side. 30 degrees. I've raced in colder, but compared to the weather we've been getting this was cold. However, in a way it was perfect running weather. I decided to move right to the front. There was a small group of runners ahead of me, they were all men. A lot of other runners stayed back a ways. When the gun went off we took off pretty quick. There was a group of 5 or 6 men in front of me. One man took the lead right away. He was quick! The starting area took off down a hill, which was nice, we were all able to get some speed going. I remember looking down at my garmin and seeing 5:30s for pace early on. I knew that was not something I could sustain. It seems like once you get going fast, it's hard to slow down. I ran with another younger runner for the first half a mile and then he slowed up a bit. I was on my own for the rest of it. The leaders seemed so far ahead and there was no one around me. It was weird. I was HOPING I didn't make a wrong turn somewhere.
The race had the runners do two loops around the lagoon. After your first lap, you get a slap bracelet you do your second lap and then you head back to the start finish line. By the time I got my slap bracelet and started my second loop people were starting their first lap. It was a bit weird. I felt like I was being watched by everyone as I ran past and onto the finish. I may have gone out a little to fast but was trying to maintain a pace under 7.
As I ran up toward the finish line a bike cop told me that I could run in the street if I wanted to. He then yelled to every volunteer that we ran by "This is the first lady!!! First lady comin' through!!" It made me laugh a bit. Honestly, whenever I run near bikes, I feel like I need to run faster to keep up. So I guess it was a good thing he was there. He made me run a little faster.
The killer was the final hill. Ha, basically that nice hill we had starting out we had to run up for the finish! UGH! :D So I pushed as hard as I could so I didn't look tired as I got up the hill to the finish line! I finished with a time of 20:32 my fastest 5k ever.... 6:28 - 6:58 - 6:52 were my three splits I'm not sure what the last .10 was because I forgot to stop the garmin.
So this was my first 1st place female win. It was weird. Usually they break it up into age gender awards. I've already won a couple age/gender ones, but never an overall 1st female win. After the race a woman came up to me and shook my hand and tried to have a conversation with me. LOL it was interesting. I got a picture with her and then another man came and photographed me. We hung out for the awards and times to be announced. Hailey, Bella, my mom and Jeff were there. I was stopped by so many people asking about my time, other races, what my pace usually is, etc, etc. It was so new to me. It felt good :D
During the race I felt really good. I tried really hard to pay attention to my pace. I knew that if I went too hard too fast I would die out at the end. Like I said, this was probably the best I've ever felt during a race. My nerves were under control, my tummy felt great, my breathing was fine. Everything worked. I couldn't believe how everything just worked!!!
After, I got the question "What's your normal pace?" ha, not this! This was a PR for me. My fastest 5k time was 23 minutes around a 7:19 pace. 5k distance isn't usual for me. I usually run farther and a bit slower :D Oh well it was a nice change. I'm really starting to see what I'm capable of :D and I LOVE IT!
When did that happen?
So I've never really felt like an adult. I still feel like a child.... maybe it's because I'm still living at home with mom and dad. Either way, I know I do adult things. I go to work every day, take care of a 5 year old, pay my bills, buy groceries all that fun stuff.
I'm wondering when I'll get to the point in my life when I'll actually feel like an adult? I figured maybe that would happen when I had my daughter Hailey. But really it hasn't. I didn't feel like an adult when I graduated college, or started paying off my college loans. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to pay medical expenses or purchase a car. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to get my own cell phone or buy my own groceries. Heck, even when I did live on my own, I still felt like a child. Maybe I'm still figuring things out. Maybe it'll be years and years of being on my own before I actually feel like an adult. Who knows!
It kind of sucks. I feel like I SHOULD be an adult. I should do things that adults do, but maybe I'm not. I mean I got most of it down, but there are parts that I'm still learning.
When I say I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I really feel embarrassed. How the heck does that work? I'm especially embarrassed when meeting new people or dating. "Yea btw, you REALLY want to date me, I still live with mommy!!!"
I just feel like it's taken so long to get where I am, and it'll take me longer to get where I want to be. I've skipped around on the order of things, which has made it much harder to get on my feet. Yea booo hoooo!! my fault, right?!?! I'm the one that had a baby outside of a marriage. I set myself up to fail, but that's how it goes. It's the hand I've been dealt. I think I've done pretty well with what I have.
Now I just have to figure out how to juggle a full time job, motherhood, a dog and my running. I feel like I need my family! But I can't stay here!!! I have to find my own way, do my own thing. I'm not exactly sure how I can do this on my own though.
If only everything were easy, and things fell into place. I guess I just have to realize that life will never be like that. Maybe that's part of being an adult. REALIZING that everything doesn't just happen. REALIZING that in order to get what you want, and be where you want, you have to work for it.
Either way, being an adult is scary! Really, I don't want to grow up!
So at what point in your life did you actually feel like an adult???
I'm wondering when I'll get to the point in my life when I'll actually feel like an adult? I figured maybe that would happen when I had my daughter Hailey. But really it hasn't. I didn't feel like an adult when I graduated college, or started paying off my college loans. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to pay medical expenses or purchase a car. I didn't feel like an adult when I had to get my own cell phone or buy my own groceries. Heck, even when I did live on my own, I still felt like a child. Maybe I'm still figuring things out. Maybe it'll be years and years of being on my own before I actually feel like an adult. Who knows!
It kind of sucks. I feel like I SHOULD be an adult. I should do things that adults do, but maybe I'm not. I mean I got most of it down, but there are parts that I'm still learning.
When I say I still live with my parents at 25 years old, I really feel embarrassed. How the heck does that work? I'm especially embarrassed when meeting new people or dating. "Yea btw, you REALLY want to date me, I still live with mommy!!!"
I just feel like it's taken so long to get where I am, and it'll take me longer to get where I want to be. I've skipped around on the order of things, which has made it much harder to get on my feet. Yea booo hoooo!! my fault, right?!?! I'm the one that had a baby outside of a marriage. I set myself up to fail, but that's how it goes. It's the hand I've been dealt. I think I've done pretty well with what I have.
Now I just have to figure out how to juggle a full time job, motherhood, a dog and my running. I feel like I need my family! But I can't stay here!!! I have to find my own way, do my own thing. I'm not exactly sure how I can do this on my own though.
If only everything were easy, and things fell into place. I guess I just have to realize that life will never be like that. Maybe that's part of being an adult. REALIZING that everything doesn't just happen. REALIZING that in order to get what you want, and be where you want, you have to work for it.
Either way, being an adult is scary! Really, I don't want to grow up!
So at what point in your life did you actually feel like an adult???
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